Day 200 - THAT!!

I've been working on my new goals... 1) Overhaul my bedroom; 2) Do my hair & make-up daily; 3) Have lunch with my mom & kids; 4) Watch my tone with my kids.

I'm doing my hair & make-up...
Kid #1: "You have make-up on." Yes. Yes I do.
Kid #2: "Where are you going?" Nowhere. "Then why are you putting make-up on?" Because I just want to.
Kid #3: "Wow mommy! You look pretty!"
*There's the proof that this goal was a necessity*

Lunch with mom went a little differently than I hoped, but it was okay. I emailed her at work earlier this week, inviting her to go with me & the kids on Saturday. Her reply? "What bomb are you dropping on me now?" That hurt. But instead of replying with reaction to that, I just brushed it off. We went to a place we've never been to before so it wouldn't feel like the same old routine we usually get stuck in. Like a new start. Things went well until I told her we weren't coming over for Thanksgiving... maybe I did end up dropping a bomb? :(  *Heavy Sigh*

Boy was my bedroom dusty!! I wish I could get rid of the carpet!! I uncovered my bed and treadmill and have been sorting the items in the unpacked boxes. That is where I found a letter from February 1992 sent to me by my BFF. Not only has my soul sister been there for me through everything, and then some, and back again... it wasn't until I read this long lost letter did I realize how long she's been trying to get this message to penetrate my thick skull!!!

At the time she was doing her own life re-evaluation and was filling me in on her journey. At the end of the letter, she wrote:

... "Chris, there's so much to growing up that I never knew about. Happiness isn't in friends or lovers or even God. God put happiness in us. That's why we're human beings not human doings! Happiness and that peace that we've been searching for, it wasn't in drinking or using, it's not in our friends, because no friend can promise they'll be here forever. Fate could kill them tomorrow. It's in your very being deep in the pit of your gut, your soul. That part of you that never changes no matter where you live, how old you are, who you hang with, that part of you that's you and in yourself you find peace."