Day 149 - Cheat Day

Cheat Meal n. By setting aside one day a week to eat junk food or whatever you want you take control of your cravings and eat on your terms. This is often referred to as a “cheat meal” because you are deliberately cheating on your diet.

But when it becomes a Cheat DAY??? BAD!! BAD!! BAD!! I know!!!! 

My gym's Weight Loss Challenge begins on Monday. It will be for the next 8 weeks which will coincide with SEVEN (yes, 7!!) family members' birthdays, Halloween AND Thanksgiving!! I fully intend to KICK SOME BUTT!! I LOVE COMPETITION and I will stay strong through all of those celebrations!!

So... if there are a few things I need to get out of my system this weekend, I will... And not feel bad! 

My birthday is the weekend after the competition ends! <maniacal laugh! maniacal laugh!>

Day 147 - Weigh-In Wednesday

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today --- 0
Total Pounds Lost --- 33
Pounds left to go --- 67

Sigh... BUT!! My gym is having a Fall Weight Loss Competition!! It starts Monday and goes for eight weeks! That is exactly what I will need to keep me motivated and my older kids are going to join in!!!

Day 145 - Autumn and Happy Pills

Autumn began on Saturday. I figured it was the best time to start new, to start fresh! I desperately needed to let go of the anger that was consuming my weekends and spilling into my weekdays. I had too much living to do to hang on any longer and I had to get work back on track. The ex took our daughter Saturday night. I was going to get together with a friend to say goodbye to summer, so I got the wild whim to do my hair & make-up. That is a rarity lately. Then my friend told me she was sick! :( (and I would have made her a nice big juicy steak too!) So I ended up staying home but having done my hair & make-up made me feel good. I'm going to have to start doing that more often!!

I had been mentally composing all day what I was going to say when the ex returned our daughter on Sunday evening. It was the first time we had talked in 2 months. No text messages, no child this, child that. Actual talk. I told him exactly how I had been feeling and for my own sake, it was time to let it all go. It was short and to the point. I literally felt the burden of anger lift.

Later, he sent me messages that (surprise!) were all about how he felt. Wait! My burden's gone. I really don't want to hear how your poor decisions make you feel!

Day 140 - I'm Hungry??

So I missed the gym this morning. My alarm went off, I hit what I thought was snooze... an hour later. Oops!! Crap.

I ate breakfast then got ready & headed to work and I was STARVING!! I had my first snack when I got to work. Then like an hour later, I was STARVING again! I ate my lunch an hour earlier than usual and I'm now eating my afternoon snack. Looking at the clock, dinner is HOURS AWAY!! WTH??

So is it because I missed the gym?? Or is it just one of those days?

Day 140 - Weigh-In Wednesday

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today --- 1
Total Pounds Lost --- 33
Pounds left to go --- 67

With a 5 pound loss last week, I'm not too surprised with the 1 pound this week! But I also didn't have as successful of a weekend either. I let myself get in my slump again. Sigh. I am determined to have a better weekend this next one!!! I'm going to plan a hike for Sunday!! The weather is getting cooler and the chances are going to get fewer and fewer. It's going to be beautiful! I can't wait!!

My son joined me at the gym the other morning! :) Each day he was asking what movie was on, so I invited him along! I worked out while he stayed on the treadmill to watch The Avengers! He was too tired the next day, but it would be great if he can start going with me on a regular basis!!

Day 133 - Weigh-In Wednesday & Successful Weekend

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today --- >>>>> 5 <<<<<
Total Pounds Lost --- 32
Pounds left to go --- 68

FINALLY!! I have a breakthrough!! FIVE POUNDS!! WAHOO!!

I think a lot of it comes from being more mindful of my past week and having a successful weekend!!

I kept the kids around as long as I could on Saturday. We did chores and then sat around playing games. When it was time for them to leave, I insisted they be picked up, eliminating the urge to drive past the wine store! I watched TV until the store was closed. I had resisted! YAY!!

In celebration, I decided to have a splurge dinner.... but I took it one step (<--- Ha ha!!) further! I decided to WALK to get my splurge meal! I put on my walking shoes and headed to the store. Along the way, I was mentally concocting this magnificent splurge meal.

Beef! No... that's too much. Salmon! Ummm. Yeah, Salmon! With a shrimp Bearnaise sauce! Yeah!!! I'll be a little good and get asparagus to steam. (And smother with Bearnaise!) Hmmmm... what else?? Rolls!! I LOVE ROLLS!! Yeah, I'll get rolls!! Garlic rolls!! Dessert? Should I get dessert??

I get to the store, get the Salmon and I already had shrimp at home. Go over to the produce and get the asparagus and a lemon. Get the Bearnaise packet and head over to the bakery. Late Saturday evenings leave much to be desired. The good stuff was gone, so I headed to the freezer section. There were two packages staring at me. Yummy gooey garlic *white* bread rolls and the whole grain ones right next to them! I looked back and forth. Back and forth. Sigh. FINE!! I'll get the whole grain ones and just add garlic at home!! Then I turn to leave and see the ice cream section!! Hmmm... let's just have a peek... I got some Greek frozen yogurt bars.

I walk back home, the whole trip taking me about an hour. Pretty good, I thought. I get the salmon on the  BBQ grill, I'm working on everything else and then realize... I cleaned out my fridge and cupboards!! I have NO BUTTER to make the Bearnaise!! So I bagged it. I wasn't going to go back to the store!!

I enjoyed a yummy dinner of salmon, steamed asparagus and whole grain rolls. I watched a little tv, cleaned up and then went to bed. It wasn't until I went to get some ice cubes the next day that I saw the unopened box of frozen yogurt bars in the freezer...... so much for a SPLURGE meal, huh??? LOL

What I was craving

Closer to what actually happened

OH WELL!!

Sunday, I got all my dinners prepped for the week!! And I felt great!! :)

Day 127 - I have W.A.D.

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today --- 1
Total Pounds Lost --- 27
Pounds left to go --- 73

I have come to a realization. Have you heard of S.A.D? Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have W.A.D. Weekend Affective Disorder. Please know that I am not making light of S.A.D! I seriously get into such a funk on the weekends, all I want to do is drink & sleep! I'm self-sabotaging my own efforts! I go to the gym all week, eat great all week, then sink into a depression on Saturday night & Sunday, rolling into Monday, which already sucks. It doesn't help that my kids are gone. But I can't force them to stay home. I need help!!!

I have been struggling with the "A" word. You know, the whole denial thing. But during the week when I'm making healthy choices and being super mom, it's not an issue. So I wonder??

I know I have to come up with a solution. And quickly. It has to include getting out of my house!!

One idea I had was I came across a website asking for volunteers to come help make sandwiches, which they distribute to the homeless. 

....Now I need more ideas!! {Insert below!}