Day 90 - I've been at this 90 days???

I know this journey I'm on was meant to be more than weight loss, but the scale isn't moving again and I'm getting discouraged. I've watched every season of The Biggest Loser and I see women get up there for weigh-in, week after week, pulling low numbers. And they cry "I don't know what I'm doing wrong?" Waaaaaaahhh, I think .. *Sometimes saying it out loud* .. Obviously you're doing SOMETHING wrong!! Look at Tara or Kim or Hannah or Olivia... they're ROCK STARS and killing it EVERY SINGLE WEEK!

And here I am at day NINETY... 24 pounds down. Really?? Really pathetic.

I talked to my trainer this morning and he did his "It's All About The Inches" song & dance and suggested I throw away my scale.

I threw away all the crappy food in my house. So I think food wise, if I run into a crunch (which sometimes happens to single, full-time working mothers with an hour commute) I will simply skip a meal as opposed to eating something I shouldn't. Even for dinner, it would be so easy to run to Subway, but I've cut out carbs from dinner. Friends don't let friends drive and eat a salad.

Someone tweeted offering advice. So with my recent struggles in mind, I tweeted back. Here was the reply:

"It's more the need to plan based on our goals. If we want to make progress in health & fitness we must make it a lifestyle."


Blink.


Blink.


I'll ask a woman next time.

Maybe things will calm down once school starts and I won't be getting pulled a dozen different directions all at once. I know that sounds like an excuse (sorry last season's BL) but it's the way it is right now. And I'm pooped. I'd rather sleep than eat good or bad!!!

Day 85 - Theme Song Thursday

I was sooo tired this morning! The thought of going back to sleep for several hours sounded better than anything I have ever tasted. I seriously don't know what made me get up. I'm driving to the gym thinking, "It will be okay, it's upper-body today. No squats." I usually do 3 sets of 15 reps, whatever it is.


Trainer: "OKAY!!" (sets the weights on four different upper body machines) "I want you to do 25 reps on each machine, as FAST as you can. Then get up, do 25 squats, grab these dumbbells, do 25 shoulder presses. Start over, do it again, 3 times!! GO!!"


I closed my eyes...

Day 84 - Weigh-In Wednesday

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today ---  1
Total Pounds Lost --- 24
Pounds left to go --- 76


Considering how I've felt for the last couple of days, I'm neither surprised, nor disappointed! I'm feeling much better today and this morning, I put everything I had into my workout!!

No, today... I'm okay!

Day 83 - So, I was wrong

I thought I was over my ex completely... seems that I had one last bit left! :(

I got a text message yesterday from a friend saying that a woman is moving in with him. Regrettably, I went on Facebook to check things out. So not only is she moving in, she looks VERY SIMILAR to me and has two kids the same age as my older two. Seven + years I gave this man and only after 3 months, he has a family moving in with him?!? I found it disheartening and very disturbing.
He was trying to kiss me less than a week ago when I dropped off our daughter. Thankfully, she was sticking around and not giving him the chance. I was trying not to let all this bug me, but then he sends me a text message last night telling me how important I am to him... blah, blah, puke.

Let's just say it didn't turn pretty.

I'm hoping that was my Grand Finale with and for him!!! He's definitely a Bastage! (A bastard who holds you emotionally hostage!)

>>>This journey I'm on has a very different aspect after last night<<<


I retweeted this Tweet this morning:

Cynthia Bazin ‏@TheSmartChic

Today is a brand new day! You are smart, beautiful & confident. Believe in yourself & show the world what you've got! Let's get it done!

Thank you Cynthia!! I needed this more than you know!!

Day 82 - Simple Pleasures

So, yes. I did buy new jeans that were 2 sizes smaller. Victory! Right? Well, it didn't feel very satisfying. It felt more like a necessity. (And common courtesy when going out in public!!) And the baggy jeans were driving me nuts!

I have quit so many things and people for that matter, I needed to find a small thrill in SOMETHING!!

I just hit a milestone after passing the 20 pound loss, so I needed to treat myself to something other than jeans. 

Here it is.

It made me happy!! :)

I had quit drinking coffee, mostly because I was drinking a pot a day, sometimes more, and into the evening hours. Now I can have one cup in the morning and call it good!

Day 77 - Weigh-In Wednesday & New Jeans!

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today ---  3
Total Pounds Lost --- 23
Pounds left to go --- 77

YAY!! I'm headed down again! And I'm starting to feel it! 

I was able to skip a size! Look!! In the store with baggy 24s, out with tight 20s!! HA! Yes, they are a bit tight, but if they zip, button & buckle, I'm not wasting money on 22s!! My trainer says he wants to see me get to an 8! When I lost the weight before, I was in a 10. I'm SO ready to have this fat off of me!!

Day 75 - When people start to notice your weight loss

Co-Worker: "Have you been losing weight?"

Me: "Yes."

Co-Worker: "I thought so! Good for you!"

Now, before you think, "Awww, how nice!" Don't. This is the same co-worker that said not too long ago....

Co-Worker: "Have you been putting the weight back on?"

Me: "Uhhhhh... yes."

Co-Worker: "I thought so! That's too bad!" Then shook her head with a tisk tisk tisk...

I know, right?!?!?

Day 70 - Weigh-In Wednesday

Pounds I want to lose --- 100
Pounds down today ---  2
Total Pounds Lost --- 20
Pounds left to go --- 80


I had unfortunately gained 2 pounds since my last weigh-in, so I really lost four! Joining the gym really helped to get me back on track!! So aside from my body being sore... it's been a good thing! :)
I was hoping for a bigger number after being so good and working out, so to not get discouraged, I got out the measuring tape! I had measured several areas before I started: neck, each upper arm, chest, diaphragm, waist, abs, hips, each upper thigh, each upper knee and each calf. Total inches lost from all areas is 34 inches!!! 4 inches each from my waist, abs & hips, then trickles down to half an inch in places like my neck and calves.
So to see all those changes really helped!! I'll take those two pounds, thank you!! All the way to the clothing store to get new pants! (They are SO baggy!!)

Day 62 - I Joined A Gym!

I couldn't sleep yesterday morning. It was really early. I think to myself, "What do people DO this early?" (Besides my mom, who goes to work at 4am! Crazy, I know!!) The other crazies go to the gym!! I'll join a gym!!

There's me at the gym. Weird. Of course I've been IN a gym before. I have gone on guest passes with friends, but only used the treadmills. I've never been a member of a gym or used that equipment!! Scary!!

(And check out those saddlebags I mentioned in my last post! YUCK!!! I gotta get rid of those!!)

So I have a trainer who is teaching me all I need to know about the machines. I went again this morning and he made me do these things called SQUATS!! Seriously!?? Okay, my office is downstairs. No elevator. Yeah, it sucked.

But HEY! Check this out!!

Best pedometer steps to date!! And that's even with a 7 hour workday and 1 hour commute!!

Can a get a WHOOP! WHOOP!?

Day 61 - New Adventures

I got my Slicing & Dicing done this weekend!! YAY!!

Look at all that yummy produce in my new (to me) fridge!! 

The two oldest kids were gone all last week for camp. One came home sick and spent an entire day on the couch. The other came home (thankfully) excited. I worried about him the most and had nothing to worry about after all!! I was anticipating their arrival home all week and wanted to spend some time with them, but before I knew it they were both gone again!! One to their dad's, the other to my mom's to hang out with cousins. So the littlest, of course, wanted to go too!! Don't they know how much I missed them while they were gone??!!

No, probably not.

It left me time to get all my prep work done for the week, but it also left me lonely. I acquired a fridge, so I had that to work on as well as a huge pile of stinky laundry!

Then I was awake at 3am this morning. I tossed and turned until I realized it was futile. Despite all of my housework yesterday, I really didn't get a good workout in. I thought it was way too early to get on the treadmill and annoy my downstairs neighbors. So I left. Went & joined a gym. Just like that.

I hurt.

Day 60 - When you miss your former best friend

Ever have that moment you realize that your best friend is emotionally and mentally doing you more harm than good, so you distance yourself from him, then have a moment of complete depression and sadness that he's no longer in your life? Yeah. Having one of those kind of days.